Veronica's Case Files

People seem surprised when they find out that I like to cook and bake. I know I’m usually a hardass and I seem to spend the majority of my time poking my nose where people think it doesn’t belong, but spending time in the kitchen is relaxing to me. It makes me feel normal.

I used to cook with my mom all the time. We’d turn the radio up (with music to match our food, of course) and dance around the kitchen while we cooked. It was always fun and those are probably some of the best memories I have of my mom.

But now, cooking gives me hope that some day, I’ll have a normal life. That maybe I’ll even get married and have a family. Yeah, I know. My lifestyle isn’t exactly conducive to that kind of stuff, but a girl can dream, right?

It's hard to pick one thing when you've lost so much. My mother? My best friend? The first love of my life? My virginity? Each loss has profoundly impacted me. But I think my greatest loss was my innocence.

Before Lilly's murder, I had the kind of life you read about in books or see in movies and wonder if anyone actually has a life like that. My parents were happily married, my dad had a good job and was well respected. I was popular, on the pep squad, had a great boyfriend.

And I was naive enough to believe it was all true.

Lilly's murder made me see the truth. Made me see how fragile it all was. Mom couldn't handle it and left. Dad got ousted from office. And I became a pariah because I supported my father. The rose-colored glasses I had lived with didn't just come off, they were shattered into a thousand pieces.

That loss of innocence is the most pivotal moment of my life. Everything that's happened since then has been colored by my new attitude. In some ways, I like the person I've become.

But there's a part of me that wants at least a sliver of that innocence back. Just one tiny shard of rose-colored glass that would allow me to trust people implicitly again.

Veronica had the afternoon off of work and her father was out of town. So she was doing what any self-respecting teenage girl would be doing -- visiting her boyfriend at the hotel where he lived to reward him for doing a good job with his studying.



[for Logan and will end up being NWS]

[locked from other Veronica Mars characters]
I don't know if I believe in love. I've seen too many things and been betrayed too many times to believe that it's possible for anyone to love someone unconditionally. Oh, but parents all love their children unconditionally, you say? You must not live in Neptune. My mother sold me out for fifty grand. Twice. Logan's dad beat him with a belt for any minor 'infraction'. Meg's parents locked her little sister in a closet. Dick and Beaver's dad skipped the country to avoid being charged with fraud. Wallace's mom lied to him about his biological father's identity. There's a reason why there are no "Parent of the Year" awards here.

As for romantic love? That's the biggest scam of all. I thought I loved Duncan and where did that get me? Waking up with no underwear and no memory of losing my virginity. Logan thinks we have some sort of epic love. And I'll give him that he's got the 'lives ruined' and 'bloodshed' parts right. Don't get me wrong, I do love him. But do I think we have some sort of pre-destined fate to be together? To beat all the odds and live happily ever after? I'm pretty sure that only happens in movies and Danielle Steel novels.

You can say I'm too young to be this cynical, but if you've lived through what I've lived through, I don't think you'd be any more optimistic.


[open for comments from anyone that's NOT a Veronica Mars character.]

When I was a little girl, I thought family was the most important thing in the world. I had a mother and a father who loved me and we were happy.

At least I thought we were.

Being a private investigator means that you dig up dirt on people and you quickly learn that, to the majority of people, family doesn't mean much of anything. Cheating spouses, greedy children, sibling rivalries - I've seen it all and then some. People just don't care about anyone but themselves.

Even my own mother fits into that category. She left me and Dad when things got rough. But I was still somewhat idealistic and I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt so I found her. And I used my college money to put her in rehab. How did she repay me? She left rehab and came home, but she was still drinking. And when I called her on it, she took the reward money my dad got for finding Duncan and split.

At least I can count on my dad. Most of the time. He's a good guy, but he has been known to keep secrets from me in the past. Oh, I know he does it out of concern, but it still drives me crazy.

Now that I'm older, I think family is what you make of it. The people I consider family are the people I trust. And there are precious few of those in my life.

You’ve probably heard of me, if you’ve watched the news at all in the last year or so. I’m the girl who solved the Lilly Kane murder and got Hollywood star Aaron Echolls locked up. I’m the girl who almost got killed in my quest for the truth. And, yes, I’m the girl that they completely discredited on the stand and managed to get that bastard found innocent.

I can define myself by the people around me: I’m Keith Mars’ daughter. Yes, that Keith Mars. I used to be Lianne Mars’ daughter, but she screwed me over one too many times. I’m Logan’s girlfriend. I was Lilly’s best friend. I’m the ‘go to’ girl when you want dirt dug up on anyone or revenge on someone who has wronged you.

If you ask other people who I am, you’ll get answers ranging from “a nosy pain in the ass” to “a marshmallow” and pretty much everything in between.

But if I had to describe myself in one word? I’m a survivor.

Note: I’m bitter about season three and haven’t watched the whole thing, thus my Veronica is post S2.

Muse: Veronica Mars
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Word Count: 171